Time To Think {Open}

ooc: Can you give the former deputy a different name I currently play a cat on here called Oakstripe.

Fangstar had, had a lot of suffering during his life but he didn't care. He was sad about all the deaths that had happened during his time but he wasn't going to let it hold him back. Even with all the deaths that had happened in his life he had never stopped doing what he could for his clan. Usually when he took time to grieve for all that he had lost in his life he did it in the privacy of his own den. He wouldn't let anyone see him grieve, because he figured he should be strong for his clan. He often wondered what the leader before had seen in him to make him his deputy and he was still at a loss sometimes on how a cat like him had been able to be leader.

Unlike other kits in the nursery he had never once talked about wanting to be leader when he had been a kit. He had doubted any cat would find him good enough because of his half clan heritage. A lot of talking and resisting as a kit had gotten him the stories of his birth and what had happened. Finding out that he was half clan and that his mother had been a medicine cat apprentice from one of the other clans had hurt him deeply. He had always followed the warrior code and had been almost obsessed with the warrior code when he had been a kit. It had been three moons when he had yelled at father about being a mousebrain for breaking the warrior code.

It only happened shortly after he had yelled at his father that they had found his father in the river. The clan sad there was nothing to show that he had been killed and they thought he had killed himself. As a kit he had blamed himself because he had honestly believed that his father had been so unhappy about their argument that he had killed himself. Later he had found out that his father had been depressed since his mother had died and that it wasn't his fault that his father had died. He hadn't believed them at first but eventually he did.

After the death of his father had had lost his sister at 5 moons and when he was older he had lost his mentor in a battle. He had lost his mate to a case of greencough that she had gotten when she was expecting his kits taking two of her three kits to Starclan with him. He had been a good father to Falconflight but then she had come to expect kits. It was only three moons ago that she had died bearing kits of her own. He shook his head to get rid of the memories and frowned wondering how his daughter could have broken the warrior code.

His clan now cared for her kits and he hoped the father never came and tried to steal the kits. He already knew that he didn't like the father because he was a loner but to make matters worse the father hadn't been there to see the kits born and hadn't even tried to see the kits. 'Loners are untrustworthy,' he thought his icy-blue eyes narrowing slightly as bitter anger spread through him. He pushed back his anger and opened his jaws to make sure no loner or rogue was on his territory. He didn't really like cats who weren't apart of his clan but he wasn't heartless enough to turn away a cat who wasn't apart of his own clan if they were hurt badly.

The RiverClan leader shook his head catching the scent of his deputy and frowned. He had forgotten that his deputy had come out here to hunt. He had just come out to get away from the camp for a little while. Flicking his ears back and forth the white tom looked around realizing that he was practically behind his deputy which was why the scent was so strong. "Greetings Lion-nose," he meowed his mew cool and polite he always tried to be a proud leader of Riverclan and never let his clan mates see the other side of him that showed he heart.

He was one of those cats that could care for his clan but if someone tried to care for him he would withdraw. He had a mate and she cared for him but that was different. He didn't like cats asking if he was okay even though he knew that they were just trying to be polite. 'I'm their leader they shouldn't waist their time worrying about me,' he thought curling his tail over his paws. As a kit a lot of kits had been to wary to play with him because of his eyes. His eyes were icy-blue in color and no matter how much warmth he put in his eyes, his eyes had a bad habit of looking cold and un-nerving.

Word count: 851

ooc: You don't have to change you post but Fangstar is only 36 moons old and Lion-nose is 51 moons old isn't he?

Fangstar waited for Lion-nose to take notice of his realizing that he should have probably made some noise to let his deputy know he was coming up behind him. He hadn't thought of that though because he was usually wrapped up in his thoughts to much to give much thought on walking loudly. He usually walked quietly and that was maybe because he had gone to use to playing with kits. It was hard to think of ways to announce his presence to his clan mates with out startling them.

When Lion-nose finally spoke he was snapped out of his thoughts. "I'm sorry I guess I should have tried to announce my presence sooner instead of just speaking from behind you," the leader meowed dipping his head to his deputy. His icy-gaze was filled with warmth as always which he only showed to his clan mates. When dealing with cats from other clans or cats outside the clans his eyes would become cold. He really didn't trust any cat who wasn't apart of his clan. Just because he didn't like any cat who wasn't apart of his clan didn't mean that he was stupid. If he needed to ally himself to a clan just to survive he would though he wouldn't like it since he didn't really care for any cat who wasn't apart of his own clan.

"Oh, nothing much even a leader feels the urge to have to get away from the clan for a bit," he told his deputy with a smile. He loved leading Riverclan but sometimes he just needed some time to think or be alone. Though he knew that it was none of his business he wondered if his deputy would ever get a mate. He knew that their were some leaders or deputies who wouldn't take on a mate because they were afraid that it would get in the way of their duties. He would have probably have done something like that but he wasn't one to deny his own feelings for a cat. That was how he had ended up with Hawktalon even though he had told himself that he would never fall in love because he would probably end up getting hurt.

Then after Hawkflight had died he had again made the promise that he wouldn't fall in love but that hadn't worked out. He had been hanging out with Wingflight a few times when he had realized that he loved her. He had tried to ignore his own feelings for her at first but soon enough he hadn't been able to deny his own feelings and had told her how he felt. When she told him that she felt the same way they had become mates. He was happy and he thought that nothing could ruin his happiness at becoming mates with such a great cat but he was wrong. It seemed that not to long after he had becomes mates with Wingflight that his daughter ended up dying bearing kits to a loner. Falconflights death had hit him hard and it had been what brought on his disdain towards cats who weren't apart of his clan.

He had made up his mind that day that he wouldn't lose anyone else because of a thing called forbidden love. He would keep his kin from making the mistake of falling in love with a cat who wasn't in their own clan. He knew that everyone in the clan knew how his daughter had died. He wasn't one to keep secrets from his clan mates. He had to his clan mates after his daughters death about how she had met a loner and how she had died bearing his kits. Not many knew how much the death had affected him or how it had changed his views on the cats who weren't in his clan. The only cat who probably knew how his views had changed with his daughters death was Wingflight.

"Sometimes it's good just to get away for awhile to think or to just get some alone time," Fangstar meowed to Lion-nose. He really hoped that nothing bad would happen anytime soon though he was a little worried about Wingflight. He had seen so many cats dying either right after or dying during the birthing of their kits that he couldn't help but worry. He was worried that his mate would share the same fate as his first mate or would share the same fate as his daughter. He didn't know what he would do if he ended up losing his second mate. He deeply loved her and just wanted everything to work out better than it had in the past. He also wondered ho many kits his mate would end up having and hoped that none of them would die or be born dead.

WC: 828

Hawkfoot hadn’t slept well the night before. Her nightmares had returned. As an apprentice, she never listened to her mentor, and that cost his life. During a battle her mentor yelled for her to duck a move, but she thought she could keep attacking. The mentor pushed her out of the way and took the blow. He was thrown against a rock and died. Hawkfoot always believed her mentor died because of her.

Hawkfoot decided to clear her mind by going hunting. Unfortunately, she couldn’t shake the image of her mentor, Shellbreeze’s lifeless body bleeding out. Hawkfoot took a deep breath and shivered. She had never truly been the same afterwards. The once confident and proud apprentice was now a shy and soft-spoken warrior. Hawkfoot felt as if she was too confident or proud like she was she’d cause more deaths. She padded carefully across RiverClan, soon reaching the river. Shellbreeze taught me how to swim, I’d swim ever time the water was warm. Her happy thoughts of swimming were flooded by blood. She clenched her teeth, How can I live like this? My mother died, I don’t even know my father.

Like a few other cats in the clans, Hawkfoot was the product of half-clan breeding. Her mother could not hide the fact the kits had half-clan blood. Her grandfather, an extremely loyal RiverClan cat, was so enraged his daughter had kits with someone from another clan, he killed all of the kits in the litter. He was about to kill Hawkkit when her mother stepped in the way and was killed. Her grandfather soon ran away from the clan. Even though she was very young, Hawkfoot remembered vaguely how the event played out. The old tom cat was about to attack her when her mother jumped in the way and took the blow that was meant for her. She remembered seeing her mother falling, blood dripping from her neck. Hawkkit ried to get closer to her mother but something was… off. She remembered the look on the old tom cat’s face as he looked around to see the horrified looks on the clanmate’s faces. He then ran away, and Hawkfoot never saw him again.

How many cats have to die for me? Hawkfoot shook her head, hoping to clear her mind from the images of death as she continued to walk. She soon came towards the stream where she planned to hunt, but she saw the Deputy and the RiverClan Leader. This must be important, I should go-

Before Hawkfoot could go back to the camp, she heard a loud crack as a twig cracked under her paws. She squeaked, not knowing what to say or do, or how Lion-nose and Fangstar would react.

“Sorry!”

WC: 463

Hawkfoot breathed a sigh of relief and turned around, glad she wasn't in trouble. Deciding to stay for what she came for, she padded closer towards the stream. 

"How have you both been doing?" Hawkfoot asked in her usual soft-spoken voice.

Even though she was an average member of the clan, she was shy around the important cats of RiverClan. Hawkfoot tried to clear her mind as she swiped down at a larger fish. She missed. Hawkfoot hissed under her breath before trying again. This time she caught one. She picked up the fish delicately in her mouth and laid it gently on the ground.